Wednesday, May 18, 2011

7 tips for when you have lost your mojo

Do you feel like you have lost your spark? Perhaps things aren’t quite going your way. Or you find yourself going through the motions but deep inside are feeling lost and directionless? Or perhaps you have gone through some significant life events and your life as you have known it has changed forever? The old is gone but the new isn’t entirely clear. You have more questions than answers, if you are even clear about what these questions are. It’s quite normal during such times to feel despondent, doubting of your own self and your abilities and experience feelings of anxiety and or unworthiness.

Well – the good news is that this is a very natural part of the evolving human journey. Everything changes and nothing stays the same. Life does what it does and sometimes we get served circumstances way beyond our control. And even if within our control, we make choices and decisions which take us down a path that hindsight suggests we could perhaps have made other “better” choices. However, as the great philosophers have said – what is is. We can’t undo what has happened but we can start afresh.

Here are 7 tips to finding your mojo and to get your groove back ( not in any particular order)

1) Accept where you are right now. There is power in acknowledging the truth of your situation as is. By acknowledging and accepting, you can move forward. Give yourself permission to really feel the feelings. The more you fight, the longer it takes to get back on track.

2) If possible – take time out for yourself. Our life has its own rhythm – sometimes there is high activity and demand, other times there is a lull. As a client put it, “outside there is summer but I feel stuck like I am in the winter of my life.” This reflective time can connect you with what really matters to you. Our sense of meaning, purpose and relevance change with the different phases of our lives.

3) Re-visit the big picture – what do you really want out of your life now? How do you want to be living? What about your job and relationships? If you could have all that you wanted – what would this list or picture include?

4) Re-connect with your sources of inspiration. What are the small and big things that energise you? What gives you a sense of connection? How about meaning? Or purpose? Brainstorm and or list these. Choose to do something from these identified activities every day.

5) Enjoy dreaming, creating and planning. Capture these thoughts, ideas, images, symbols or pictures in a diary or vision board. Externalize it if you can. If you could have things your way, how would it look, feel and be? Try and experience these feelings now.

6) Find support with close friends and trusted others you can talk at the heart level. Ask them to remind you of what they see as your gifts, talents and abilities. Try to connect with that which is your biggest strength and the unique value and gift you bring to others.

7) Appreciate – focus on all the things that are good and working well in your life right now. Things that you are grateful for. Give yourself time for the new to evolve. Know and trust that you will be okay!

Before long, you will find yourself back in the groove with a renewed perspective and greater compassion for yourself and others. Challenging times grow and stretch our resilience and like everything else in life- it too passes! Be kind and compassionate to yourself.

Jasbindar Singh is a coaching psychologist and author of “Get your groove back.”

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